Friday, May 28, 2010

Conviction - Part 2

As I was trying to seek wisdom and pray for God's guidance, I spoke to a colleague behind closed doors. This is a trusted colleague who I have bounced things off for five years, as she has with me. I went to her because she was uninvolved with the conflict, and I felt could either be a good sounding board as I sorted through things or offer insight on how to continue. Well, this colleague (whom I still trust completely) wasn't as uninvolved as I thought, and by the end of the day, things I had said became twisted and got back to the teacher I was having conflict with. To make matters worse, some words about my supervisor had been attributed to me. I was confronted quite unpleasantly by the teacher, and it was clear to me that my supervisor now also believed I had said these things. This water I'm rowing in is getting thicker and muddier, and now I've really blown it.

I immediately confessed and apologized to the teacher I was having the conflict with. My intention of seeking wisdom had become gossip and I was wrong. Most people would call it a lapse in judgment, but I'll call a spade a spade. It was sin. My apology seemed to fall on deaf ears, but it was the right thing for me to do anyway.

But now, I have the uncomfortable situation of making things right with my supervisor. Dan told me I had to talk to her. My mother told me I had to talk to her. I confess...deep within, I think I was still looking for a loophole.

Then I read May 25 (also from "Devotions for Women on the Go" by Stephen Arterburn and Pamela Farrel

I have much more to say to you, but I don't want to say it in a letter. For I hope to visit you soon and to talk with you face to face. Then our joy will be complete. 2 John 1:12

Face-to-Face

The more intense the emotion, the more sensitive the topic, or the more unknown the outcome, the more a conversation needs to happen face-to-face.

When a challenge needed to be laid out, Amaziah send messengers to Johoash, "Come, meet me face to face" (2 Kings 14:8, NIV). The harder the road ahead or the bigger the mountain, the more the challenge needs to be explained face-to-face, followed by plenty of time for questoins and lots of time to encourage, comfort, and instill vision and confidence.

When a vital transaction or negotiation needed to happen, Zedekiah king of Judah was handed over to the king of Babylon to speak with him face-to-face (Jeremiah 32:4). The more tenuous the transaction, the more room there may be for misunderstanding; thus, the more those negotiations should be handled in person. And if there is any question of character, those talks need to be in person so you can discern the person's motives.

When correction or punishment is given, God says he wants to see his people face-to-face to judge them (Ezekiel 20:35). Jesus tells us that if someone sins against us, we should go to him or her in person (Matthew 18:15). Words that are hard to hear should be given in person.

Life is hard, and those moments need to be shared in person. but the best moments should also be shared in person: announcing an engagement, news of a pregnancy or birth, (I'll add adoption), congratulations over a raise, a new job, or an award. Good news is rare; make the moment count!

Okay...God told me pretty clearly that there was no loophole for this one. I made the appointment.

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