Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Going Mama Bear

I recently read in a forum a concern from an adoptive parent. Her daughter came home from school with a report of a disturbing story from her teacher. I was taken aback by the instant barrage of comments from other adoptive parents demanding the mother get an audience with the principal, superintendent, school board, etc. Several were calling for the teacher's instant dismissal. Very few of the responses were urging the parent to talk directly to the teacher and discover more.

It made me think about how often I "go Mama Bear" over my kids. I really try not to - I try to see other sides of a story. I try to discern when to fight and when to step back and see how the chips fall. It seems the adoption community champions fighting for their kids. I see where that comes from - but sometimes I wonder if we might be crippling our kids emotionally when we're so quick to blame everything on adoption and demand the world caters to our kids.

Since reading this "discussion" (where the mother did talk to the teacher, and the story was not exactly as her child had reported it - in fact, it turned into a non-issue) - I've really tried to step back and gauge my responses. I won't always be there to fight for my kids. It's my job to equip them to know when to fight for themselves and when to accept that life isn't always fair or turn out the way we want. And I'm finding that when Mama Bear steps back for a little bit and gets all of the facts - I'm usually just a big teddy bear inside who wants nothing more than to just enjoy a few extra snuggles and hugs with my kids.

Somebody remind me of this next time I go Mama Bear.

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