Your Story

Years ago, when I was sitting month after month wondering if I would ever be a mom and watching what seemed to be all the women around me discovering some sort of fertility fountain, my sister bought me a book that changed the way I think.

The author drew a parallel to the character Aravis in C.S. Lewis's book "The Horse and His Boy." At the end of the story, Aslan patiently explains to Aravis why she was allowed to endure what she did. Then she asks Aslan about her travel companion. Aslan's gentle, but firm reply was, "That's not your story. I'll only tell you your story." So as I watched these incredibly fertile women around me, I realized that my story was not theirs. And their story was not mine. And that was okay.

At the last supper, Jesus had a remarkably similar conversation with Peter about John. Peter's death had just been foretold by Christ, and he stops to wonder what will happen to John. Christ's reply: "Jesus answered, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.'" (John 21:22) - Essentially, He told Peter, "That's not your story."

As my story has unfolded, I know read with curiosity about issues that have become "Mommy Wars." The most recent was a series of articles on school choice on my friend Maralee's blog. I love it when people are passionate about the call God has given their family. And based on the responses, people were passionate! The problems begin when you assume that your choice is "best" or that yours is the "only wise choice." (I am quoting one of the commenters here.)

It reminded me of a passage a very wise woman (Maralee's mom) shared with me once. It's found in Proverbs 6.

16       There are six things the Lord hates,
    seven that are detestable to him:
¹⁷         haughty eyes,
        a lying tongue,
        hands that shed innocent blood,
¹⁸         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil,
¹⁹         a false witness who pours out lies
        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

The first one is "haughty eyes" and the last is "a person who stirs up conflict in the community." Could it be that a lot of the Mommy Wars come down to the haughty attitude that "my way is the best/only wise way"? Could it possibly be that when it comes to individual callings that aren't specifically commanded or forbidden in Scripture that God might just have a different story to tell through each of our families?

So embrace your story. Don't use it to compare yourself to others' stories. And be willing to allow that someone else's story has a different ending than yours. (It may be a different genre altogether!)