Thursday, January 31, 2013

My Deliverer

As life continues to settle into a different pace and routine, I find myself still struggling with some unresolved issues. It seems baffling when people act in ways that just don't make sense. With my personality and sense of justice, I have a hard time letting go. Sometimes I feel that it's my job to make things right in the world. Or at least to get people to conform to my expectations. And so I want to resolve, resolve, resolve. Yet I'm finding that some situations or people need to just be left alone.

In our BSF study of Genesis this year, for some reason I've been thinking more about Lot. I never really paid that much attention to him before. He chose to live in opulence and comfort near the people of Sodom. And he was taken prisoner by warring kings. God sent Abraham to rescue Lot. You'd think Lot would have listened and gone with Abraham at that point. But no...he returned to Sodom. The next time around, God's warning was a lot more, well...destructive. Lot was saved, but by the skin of his teeth.

Which brings me back to my own stuff lately. My nature to resolve issues and confront injustice is rising up again. It's really hard for me to just let things go. I remember when Dan gave me a small rubber duck years ago to remind myself to just let it roll off my back. Easier said than done.

The question was asked recently what Sodom has God rescued me from that I keep returning to. That was a pretty obvious question as I was struggling with whether or not to deal with an organization with which my ties have been loosened.

And so, while it goes against the fiber of my being, and has ramifications that cause me to revert to my anxious nature, I am praying that God will give me the courage and faith to let Him handle this one. And whether I should hold those ties loosely or sever them altogether. (Because burning bridges does not seem wise at this point either.)

The last thing I want to do is to run back if this is a Sodom from which God has delivered me.

1 comment:

Paula said...

So funny... years ago, I used to have this mantra that I repeated in and before situations with others that stressed me out: "I am a duck. I am a duck." Let it roll, baby.