Friday, May 28, 2010

Consequences - Part 4

When you reach the point of surrender, when you know you've done everything in your power to live at peace, when you have confessed to the people you have wronged, what do you have left?

I hope at the end of the day I have my integrity. I am the person God made me to be, and I can't change that to find the approval of other humans. But I also have consequences for my own sinfulness. My board now has one less member. I'm saddened that our differences couldn't be resolved, it bothers me that my apologies have gone unheeded and forgiveness and grace have not been returned. It's never good when someone leaves in anger with unresolved conflict. I have lost some of my supervisor's esteem and have to work at proving myself again and rebuilding trust. But I can't answer for the way anyone else chooses to behave, nor can I allow myself to continue being consumed by this.

I don't believe that there's any more I can do, nor am I feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I will live with my consequences, but I will also live in the freedom I have been given by forgiveness through Christ.

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