Confrontation - Part 3

It just wouldn't stop. Yesterday, I received more emails. I tried to answer graciously, but also came to the point where truth needed to be spoken. The truth is not always pleasant. I again apologized, but I also pointed out how I have handled myself in the last three years when the other person was not always holding up her end. I wasn't trying to be accusatory, so much as remind her of my track record of supporting her. I again offered an olive branch to meet personally and put this behind us. It was not well received. The response was again twisting my words and revealed that I was playing tennis with a wall; my offers at restoration and reconciliation were ignored, and Dan (who rarely sets his foot down and tells me what to do) instructed me not to respond. It would do no good.

Which reminded me of yet another entry in my new book.

May 21

"Don't give what is holy to unholy people." Don't give pearls to swine! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. Matthew 7:6

Place Some Space

The Bible gives us some great principles to follow when it comes to our relationships with others. Think about the following statements:

• Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
• If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If that person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If the church decides you are right, but the other person won't accept it, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. (Matthew 18:5-17)

You may be wondering, Where does giving pearls to swine come in? If you have tried to follow the relationship principles above and a person who sinned against you won't acknowledge the wrong or apologize or repent, then, to paraphrase God's instructions to you in Matthew, Place some space between you. If you keep sharing your heart, that person will know exactly how to hurt you the next time. The time may come when you need to treat that person like a stranger on the street: Be polite and respectful and obey what the Bible says about praying for your enemies, but give the relationship some breathing space and wait for God to intervene.

The circumstances are a little different here, as this is not necessarily a conflict with a fellow believer. But the wisdom makes sense. When I have done all I can do, when I've prayed and surrendered the relationship and situation to God, when I'm playing tennis with a wall, it's time to place some space.