A Sad Day

I went to a funeral last night. It was a lovely service, but a very sobering affair (as funerals often are.) It was a service for my best friend. I can't believe he's gone.

And so young...only 33 years old. I can't even let myself imagine how torturous his final hours must have been. It was a capital execution. I never really did figure out what exactly the charges were, but his trials (there were more than one, but unlike most legal processes, his 6 trials took place in less than 6 hours) were a joke! In fact, even now I wonder at the legality of the proceedings.

The whole time he was dying, the public officials were mocking him and beating him. Definitely cruel and unusual punishment. The loss of blood was unimaginable.

Even though he told me (many times) that this was going to happen, I just couldn't believe it. And even at the end, I couldn't bring myself to watch. I'm ashamed to admit that when the going got tough, I ran away. I absorbed myself in my own life. Went about my day as usual (although in the back of my mind, his execution was always there.) In fact, it was a pretty ugly day. I was unusually harsh with my students. I was hanging on to a grudge against my husband. I was impatient with my daughter, who just wanted to be with me. Every time I tried to stop myself, breathe a quick prayer, and turn myself around, I just dug my hole deeper.

As I sat in my friend's service last night, I couldn't help but remember how kind and gentle he was. He was my only friend who always accepted me as is. In fact, he welcomed me, flaws and all. Well, I try to mask it over by calling them flaws, but let's call a spade a spade. It was sin.

So as I sat there, missing him terribly, I thought about how I would gladly trade the rest of my life to just have one more day with him. Then I realized that he endured one gruesome, torturous day so that I CAN spend the rest of my life with him.