Contentment

The halls are decked. The cookies are made. The gifts are wrapped. The checkbook is hanging in the balance :)

I'm sitting here two days before Christmas Eve with very little left to do except enjoy my family. And this is a very wonderful place to be. I don't share this in any way to point out what a wonderful Suzie Homemaker I am...in fact, things are pretty simple this year. I'm more sitting here in awe of a gracious Father who has wrapped me in His arms this year and continually whispered His blessings in my ear.

You see...Christmas of 2008 was pretty ugly. My uncle died on Christmas Eve, the family in Oregon was snowed in and stranded in various cities trying to make it home. Tensions were high. We tried to hold it together for Dayna and focus on the purpose of Christmas...but it was just a very hard year. We have some fun memories from that Christmas as well, but it really was one of those years where we just had to hold on and cling to God.

Christmas of 2009 was completely different for us. We spent it in a beach house in Oregon waiting to celebrate the wedding of my brother- and sister-in-law. It was a fun time...but with all of the festivities, there wasn't a lot of time to focus on Christmas.

2010...well, that was another tough one. Some things at school had happened right before the break. An angry parent had some pretty harsh threats, leaving Dan &; I with a lot of anxiety. I felt like I spent about 3 weeks looking over my shoulder with every step I took. In the midst of the stress...some ugly stuff reared its head again.

Then on December 15th of last year, I received a phone call that really was a turning point in my life. That was supposed to be the day I could celebrate the end of the stresses and bullying I'd been enduring at school. Instead, it changed everything. The rug was pulled out, and no explanations were offered. I spent last Christmas, again, under an incredible amount of anxiety. In hindsight, I know that the ONLY reason I was able to get through was the grace of God.

And so, here I am. It's December 22, and I'm celebrating the gift God has given me this year. A Christmas where my family can just enjoy each other and Christ. It's not to say that there haven't been things to cause stress this month. But in the scheme of things, they haven't been consuming. We've made some amazing memories this Advent season; enjoyed old traditions and possibly even started some new ones. We've snuggled on the couch and shared stories. We've drunk hot cocoa under a meteor shower. We've dabbed flour on our noses and rolled out cookies. The glue gun has been hopping, and the giggles still ring out from our walls.

We're enjoying this final Christmas as a family of 3. At Dayna's request, we're not traveling this year. Dan's parents will be joining us here tomorrow for 4 days. We're just enjoying the slower pace and taking the time to celebrate family and faith.

And even while I'm savoring every moment, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to look back on those last four Christmases and see God's faithfulness. Because the same Baby who is holding me this year and whispering words of contentment is the One who clutched me close to His chest these past several years and taught me to trust.