Thursday, June 30, 2011

Why Do I Care So Much?

I've been invited by a friend at church to participate in Shaunti Feldhahn's study of the "Life Ready Woman" this summer. It's been a lot of fun getting to know some new ladies from church, and generally fellowship with other women in a way that I can't during the school year.

This study is refreshing, because it speaks to women wherever they are in their lives: stay-at-home moms, homeschooling, working outside the home, single, childless, widowed, divorced...you name it. Sometimes I feel like there are a lot of black holes in an Evangelical church setting for women who don't fit a typical mold.

The very first night of the group, I felt so empowered as a full-time working mom that I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be, even though I may not want to be there myself. We got to talking about expectations...what the world expects of us, what the church expects of us, even what our families expect of us. When we don't meet those expectations, there can be a lot of grief, anxiety and loneliness.

My friend Julie shared one of those simple, yet profound statements that I have really been digesting lately: "We have conversations with other people in our minds that never actually happened."

Do you do that? I know I do...I get myself so worked up about an encounter with someone I *think* is disappointed in me, or I *think* may disagree and therefore encounter conflict. I hate conflict. But...I wonder how many of my struggles with others come from this whole area of expectation, or even imaginary conversations.

And even if a certain person really is ticked at me, or disappointed, or angry and spreading rumors. Why do I care so much? Why are their opinions more important that God's?

No comments: