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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Pondering Race

In our interracial family, we are fortunate that we haven't faced any major or dramatic issues of racial tension. We celebrate the differences within our family, and the differences in our friends. But the longer I'm in this family, the more I have pondered what racism is. What it looks like. The ignorant comments, the intentionally hurtful comments, and the people with their heads in the sand. (I confess, I happily lived in my white bubble for many years and had some simplistic answers to the racial dilemmas others face.) Even yesterday, the woman handing out samples at Sam's Club was skeptical that I was Dayna's mom and gave her permission to try a small piece of bread.

We want our girls to grow up and be confident in who they are. To not make excuses for the difficult things they may face in life. But we also want them to be able to discern and appropriately respond to curiosity, ignorance, or blatant offense. I've long since given up the illusion that we should be "color blind" - instead, we should embrace the beauty of diversity. I'm also coming to accept that some people just have to jump over more hurdles - not because of the way they behave, but because of the way they were born.

A dear friend of mine has a veritable United Nations living in her home. She recently wrote (much more eloquently than I could) her thoughts on protecting her Liberian son from those who may react first and think second. Turns out this post went viral with over 800,000 hits in the first few days. It was picked up by Scary Mommy, the Washington Post, local newspapers and radio stations - just to name a few. She received some pretty interesting comments as well (although I recommend not going there unless you're ready for some visceral reactions) - from support of Black mothers, to ostriches proving that burying your head in the sand won't solve the racial issues, even a few threats (which didn't make it to publication).

I'm so proud of my friend and the food for thought that she continues to give me as I ponder what it means to be white in an interracial family - and an interracial world.

http://www.amusingmaralee.com/2015/12/to-the-white-parents-of-my-black-sons-friends/#comment-9506

Our Trusty Steed

Over 3,000 miles, six mountain ranges, several audiobooks and backseat squabbles later, our little Ford Escape decided she needed a break. We were three hours from home on New Year's Day when the service light came on. The steering wheel had been acting strange for the last hour, and we decided it was best to see if someplace was open where we could find out the code and know what we were looking at. Of course, Napa Auto Parts was closed on New Year's Day, so we limped to a local McDonald's where we could use their free wifi and do some trouble shooting. We thought we had it figured out, and were ready to get back on the road when the car just quit. No steering at all. So we got back into a parking spot...I took the girls back into McDonald's...and Dan stared inside the hood.

It was then that three different strangers came upon our path and lent their services. One was a mechanic. We discovered it was an electronic steering module that had gone bad. Another one of the men was friends with the owner of the local Ford dealership and arranged to get us seen first thing in the morning. The third man worked at the local youth center and offered to let the girls hang out and play some games. (We didn't take him up on this, but it was a kind offer.) Turns out all three men loved Jesus and wanted nothing in return. They just wanted to show His love.

So in our weariness and ready to just be home, we started looking at God's provision. 24 hours earlier, we would have been in the middle of Wyoming, 100 miles from anywhere, in below-freezing weather. Instead, we were in a McDonald's parking lot, next door to a motel. When the continental breakfast was lackluster, we were next door to McDonald's for breakfast :). The local Perkins had a fabulous pancake dinner. We had three strangers offer to be Jesus to us. (One even offered to drive us the rest of the way home.)

Unfortunately, the diagnostic technician decided to not come to work the next day, so we were either stuck for two more days, or ready to rent a car. The other mechanics assured us we were safe to drive home...we just wouldn't have power steering. So like the pioneers of old, we piled back into our trusty steed and limped three more hours home. (Dan's biceps were really toned by then!)

It wasn't the best way to start the New Year, but if you think about it, it was also a great opportunity for our daughters to see how we handled stress. I may or may not have disappeared to WalMart on a Saturday right after we got home, just so I could be "alone" for a few hours.

Praying now for opportunities for us to be Jesus to others.

Reflection

Our Christmas surprise over, it was time to head back to Nebraska. On our third day of driving, we decided to bust out the Disney tunes. It was pretty sweet to see Annie singing "Reflection" from Mulan. Even funnier to see her singing it to herself in a mirror.