Double-Edged Sword

(Warning...opinionated mother thoughts ahead.)

I know I've talked about fundraising for adoptions before. It seems to be a hot-button issue in the adoption world. In the one camp, you have people who adamantly insist that if you can't afford to adopt, you shouldn't. In the other camp, you have people who can very well afford to raise another child, but might need a little help raising the money for plane tickets and agency fees. Both camps feel strongly. Both camps have some valid points. And my bottom line is that if someone feels led to generously give, it's not my place to deny them the blessing. Likewise, I'm not going to ask virtual strangers to finance my family's life change. When it comes to fundraising, I like to see some sort of product given in return (such as the sale of an item.)

But in the midst of all the vocal people (mostly adoptive families) who are adamantly against fundraising, I also see feel-good articles about adoption. On these articles, 80% of the people commenting say they'd love to adopt if they have the money. (For the record...you DON'T have to be rich to adopt...we certainly aren't. And there are great grant organizations and other non-profits that will help you find ways to pay those fees and travel costs.)

So the message I'm seeing is that you should only adopt if you have money. Hang on...when did children finding families become about money?

There are a lot of things that we were able to give up. Our girls go without a lot of things their peers have. But our girls have a family.

Please...can't we all stop throwing our stones and focus on more important things?

Another Chance

This isn't one of those blog posts that anyone wants to write. Honestly, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this. I've been sitting on it for about a week and was finally able to shed some tears this morning.

Sometimes God allows you to see the fruit of labor done for Him years down the road. Sometimes, you'll never know.

So this is the story of two boys. Not really their stories, but stories told through the lens of how I saw and knew them.

Tyler was a funny kid. A bit of an imp. The kid who kept me on my toes and left me shaking my head when he left the classroom. But he was also an angry kid. His parents had just split up. His dad was across the country. And he was 8 years old. I averaged 700-800 students a year. It's hard to develop relationships that way. But Tyler was different. I signed up to be his mentor. We spent a lot of lunch periods together. We talked about his parents. We talked about school. With his mom's permission, we talked about God. We would go out to Burger King after school sometimes. Or bowling. Or my favorite...Dairy Queen. I remember a good, solid 20 minutes of nothing but giggles over soft serve. I don't think he ever spoke a word. Dan got involved, too...we took him canoeing, geocaching, and even to a Drum Corps show. Tyler later became very involved in music...even became the drum line captain for his high school marching band.

A few years back, Tyler invited us to his graduation open house. I hadn't seen him in 8 years...and yet he enveloped me in a huge bear hug and told me, "Mrs. Wilson, you saved my life!" (Now...I take NO credit for this...God used me to build a relationship with a special young man...He did the rest of the work.) He credited his love for music and later involvement in band with giving him the solid friends and work ethic he needed to become a man. He credited Dan & I for fostering that love at an early age. Needless to say, I still think the world of Tyler.

The other young man I had the privilege of mentoring was Chance. He was another second grader. The kind with a big cowlick and gentle brown eyes. Chance also came from a broken home. I don't know all the details. We only had a few months together. Then one day (right before the holidays, as I recall) he left school with someone who didn't have permission to take him. The police were involved. A search ensued. Chance was found. It was an ugly custody situation, and he never came back. The last I heard, he transferred to a school in a suburban district. I've spent the last 13 years wondering what happened to him.

Until last week. A simple news article on my Facebook feed. I almost didn't click it. I don't go for stories like this. A body was found and identified as a young man who was missing for almost 2 years. The name looked familiar. The picture still haunts me. Others see a hardened criminal covered in tattoos and piercings. One who died after a car accident while fleeing police. A drug dealer. Meth addict. A rap sheet a mile long. Nothing more than a thug. A loser. A two-bit car thief. (Descriptions written in comments on various articles.)

I saw Chance. The big brown eyes of a boy who trusted me. A kid who fell through the cracks. I wonder what happened in the 11 years since I saw him last and the date of the car accident. How did he become so broken? Why did God allow this? Who was there to catch him when he was shuffled around?

I don't feel guilt...there's absolutely nothing more or less that I could have done. But I am left wondering...and hurting...and questioning God. I don't think I'll ever know on this side. But if he was special to me, wasn't he even more precious to God?

I've lost students. Some to accidents. Gang activity. Drugs. Illness. It's never easy. But somehow, memories of Chance will always haunt me. And the irony of his name is not lost on me.

So while the rest of the area has let this news article come and go...with their quick-to-judge statements...I choose to remember that sweet brown-eyed boy. And wonder who God will use me to touch next.

Dayna's First Race

Dayna's been working so hard all summer to be able to participate in a race with me. Her little legs have pumped all over town!

Yesterday was the big day! Unfortunately, it was also the day Mama got sick. No, I probably shouldn't have done it with her...but somehow, it was too hard for me to let her down.

So we took it slowly. And walked more than we should have.

But...we finished! Dayna's first 5K. She came in 241st and I was 242nd with a time just over 41 minutes. And if you keep track of things like this, Dayna was 2nd for kids 10 and under and 1st for girls 10 and under.

So proud of you, girl!

Pinning her race number

Ready to go

We're on our way!

41 minutes later!

Way to go, girlie!

Post-Op

The two weeks following Annie's repair have been pretty rough. Our sweet, independent girl decided that if she can't feed herself, she's not going to eat. By the end of the first week, we were lucky to get a few spoonfuls of food in her and maybe an ounce or two of liquid. By that point, we were getting a little concerned about dehydration.

Out of desperation, we finally decided to ditch the arm restraints (she could take them off, anyway) during mealtime and let her try feeding herself. Slowly but surely, she started to eat again. In fact, she's become quite the little chow hound.

We're not sure how much weight she lost after her surgery. She didn't have much weight to lose to begin with. But we think we're on the upswing now. We're taking things one meal at a time.

Unfortunately, Annie & I both came down with a nasty case of strep over the weekend, so we're back to square one with liquids. Annie seems to be handling it better than I am! She has her post-op appointment tomorrow and we'll see what the future holds.

We haven noticed now that she has tubes in her ears, her hearing is greatly improved. She loves to take walks in the stroller and now hears every single nature sound. She's quite captivated. It's like a whole new world has opened up to her!

We appreciate your continued prayers!

Annie's Palate Repair

Early in the morning on the 16th, Annie's palate was closed. We spent 3 days in the hospital and cheered along the way as Annie slowly started to eat and drink. It's tough to see your independent little one so helpless and lethargic, not to mention confused. We continue to pray that this traumatic experience will continue to connect her to us as her parents and form the strong attachment this little one needs.

Her little lovey was patiently waiting outside OR 8 for her.

So happy to see an almost smile the next morning!

She loved putting stickers on papers around the room

We had a fun visit from the College boys

And when life is hard, cute pigtails and a baby doll will do the trick.

State Fair

Earlier this month, we took Annie to her first Nebraska State Fair. It was a beautiful day - not too hot. She enjoyed the animals, the food, and the general atmosphere of the fair. As long-time fairgoers, however, we're not sure this will continue to be a feasible family outing. A few years ago, the fair moved to the center of the state. We really don't mind the drive. But since then, it seems the cost for everything has gone through the roof. By the time we pay for admission, food, and a few rides for Dayna, it's just not an affordable family outing anymore. Nonetheless, it was a fun day and we scored a few great pictures.

First Camping Trip

We took advantage of one of those beautiful fall Friday afternoons and took the girls to Memphis State Recreation Area for Annie's first camping trip. From Annie's perspective, the campout was sheer success. We've never seen her wake up as happy as she did Saturday morning. She giggled and smiled for almost an hour!

From a parent's perspective, the campout was a disaster! The campfire never lit (wet wood) and the next morning, we ran out of propane while cooking breakfast. No worries...just grab the backup propane! Nope...that one ran out too. So we braved Husker game day traffic and made it to Denny's for breakfast. While packing up, the girls had a ball playing in the sand and flowers...only to realize that we forgot to spray the girls. Poor Dayna is allergic to mosquitoes and looked like she had the measles for about a week. I'm pretty sure we'll be doing school picture retakes!

Nonetheless, it was a fun family overnight trip.